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Una Mamma Italiana
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20 Signs Your Italian Man is a Mamma's BoyThis humorous list is only a bit of an exaggeration of the love between mamma and figlio
Most Italian men have had a longstanding love affair with their mamma that dates back to the womb. While you'll fall in love with an Italian man rather easily, in part because of his devotion to mamma, which translates into his great respect for women, he'll have a harder time committing to you. Eventually, you might get him to marry you. But mamma will still be number one in his heart. You'll have his children. But mamma will still be number one in his heart. He'll have your heart. But mamma will still be number one in his heart.
So, how do you know you're in the presence of an Italian mamma's boy? Well, if he's Italian and breathing, you can pretty much bet on it. However, in honor of Mother's Day, which Italians and Americans alike will celebrate on the second Sunday in May, I've come up with this handy and humorous - if I do say so myself - list of signs that your Italian man is in love with his mammina. After all, if we can't laugh at ourselves, then who can we laugh at?
20 ATTRIBUTES OF A LOVE AFFAIR BETWEEN ITALIAN MOTHER AND SON
20. He believes the classic Italian song, "Mamma," which has been sung by the likes of Luciano Pavarotti, Ricky Martin, and Andrea Bocelli, should be Italy's national anthem.
19. Even after you're married, he insists on living with mamma.
18. Mamma is the only one who is allowed to wash his underwear. He says you don't know how to do it right, and mamma irons it. Yes, you read that correctly. She irons boxers and briefs - not to mention sheets and dish towels.
17. He allows mamma to have the final say in everything - from whether to marry you to where you should live and work.
16. Your Italian man buys you a mop for your birthday, and he gets mamma a gold necklace.
15. Mamma brags to people that her son slept in bed with her until he was 16 - as if that's a good thing.
14. He tells all his secrets to mamma, and you're left wondering what the whispers are about.
13. Even when he's an adult, she fights his battles for him. Don't be surprised if she shows up when you're debating who's going to pay the bills or considering whether to see a marriage counselor.
12. Mamma and son have never been apart more than a week - and that was for vacation and was supplemented by two to three phone calls per day…on Skype, so they could see each other. Aww, shucks!
11. Son waxes poetic about mamma and describes her as though she is Botticelli babe and saint all at once.
10. He calls out for mamma in deep slumber. She calls out, "Figlio mio," when dreaming in her sleep or in the piazza when she misses him.
9. The doctor forgot to cut the umbilical cord at birth.
8. The only cooking he'll agree to put in his mouth - or at least the only one he'll praise - is mamma's. And he wants you to be tortured by cooking lessons from mamma, who has already told you that you are missing the cooking gene.
7. If you ever argue with mamma, don't expect him to take your side, even if you're right (as in the cooking debacle above). He defends mamma always. Always. After all, he knew her first.
6. Mamma forgets she has daughters, too.
5. Mamma gives her 50-year-old baby boy "coccole" or cuddles whenever he comes home.
4. He accidentally calls you mamma on occasion. Wishful thinking on his part!
3. He fights with papa' often. Jealousy will do that to you.
2. He's 45… and still nursing.
And the number one clue that your big bambino is in love with mamma:
1. He says so every chance he gets. At least, you've known from the start that you're stuck in this love triangle for life. Mamma wouldn't have it any other way. At least, she takes it upon herself to help you do laundry, relieve you of the cooking duties, and shower your Italian man with attention, thus lightening your load. You're grateful for her efforts - and the fact that she brought your Italian man into the world. Auguri a tutte le mamme!
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