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  • Is the Latin Lover Lost?
    Recently, Italians debated whether their men had become a little too soft to hang onto the "Latin Lover" title. What do you think?
    Our Paesani

    by Francesca Di Meglio

    Cassanova gave Italian men a reputation for being able to court and woo women like no other group. Along with other Latin men, Italians became known for their sensuality and sexiness. Women the world over fell in love – or at least in lust – with them. In fact, I wrote a story about why women love Italian men for this column many moons ago, and I still get letters about once a week from women who couldn't agree more. Still, Italians in Italy are wondering whether the Latin Lover is a relic. They are starting to see a young generation that is not nearly as smooth as those Italians of the past. A recent television program in Italy posed the question, "Is the Latin Lover dead?" Here is an outline of the reasons some people are offering for believing the Latin Lover is gone forever:

    The Italian Mother
    Italian mothers have always had a somewhat sick relationship with their sons. But things have gotten worse. Now, they're manipulating their relationships with women, doing their laundry, cooking, and everything short of wiping their bottoms when they're still 40 years old, and they usually live in the same house to boot. The goal is no longer to raise men but to keep their sons little boys forever. There's nothing sexy about a baby who is in love with his mamma.

    Their Friends
    Men in Italy have bromances that endure a lifetime. Their friendships tend to be fierce, and they often come before their relationships with women, even a wife. Southern Italian men often act like teenagers attached to their phones making plans with their buddies. They play cards with them. They watch soccer together. Sometimes, they even vacation with them without their wives or girlfriends. It's one thing to be a football widow once a month or even once a week, but to continuously have your husband or boyfriend spending time with his buddies while you're at home alone – usually, cleaning, cooking, and trying to keep up with your mother-in-law – can be frustrating and downright insulting. The Italian man could be the prettiest you'll ever know, but who needs him if you have to do all the work?

    Their Other Girlfriends
    Lots of cheating happens in Italy. Just like anywhere else, there are those who are faithful and those who can't help themselves. Women and men cheat on each other. This has always been a problem for the Latin Lover. Cassanova, after all, was known to have many, many women in his life. Women seemed to be willing to tolerate this when they weren't expected to bring home the bucks, too, and the Italian man offered other qualities that were appealing. But who in her right mind is going to put up with cheating when you have a mamma's boy who acts like a teenager hanging out with his friends every night? Nowadays, women demand more respect rightfully so, and they deserve it.

    They have no game
    Many of the young Italians are simply not mature enough to understand how to make a woman feel special. Their arrogance, not to mention their ego, overcomes them. These whiny, sniffling mamma's boys have been roaming around Italy for enough time that the young generation is lacking role models. With the economy as bad as it is, they're all depressed and without work. Skeptical people, who live at home with their mammas, who do everything for them while they act like lazy bums, who still hang out with their friends like schoolboys will undoubtedly have a hard time picking up women, nevermind courting them. Still, Italian men are as pretty as ever to look at. Maybe that will be enough to keep them Latin Lovers. Who knows?

    Di Meglio is the Guide to Newlyweds for About.com, and you can follow her life and work at the Two Worlds Web site.


    Article Published 5/21/12

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